THE GARDEN
Agatha
Delicious, Delish Media 2020
An homage to the Twilight Zone episode To Serve Man, this is a fetish video about what happens on the Kanamit ship in space on its way to the Kanamit home planet. The niece of the woman that interpreted the book for the Kanamits "To Serve Man" (it's a cookbook!) leads a resistance against the alien invaders, only to be captured by them and taken aboard their ship. Escaping her cell, she sees "The Garden" where the human cattle are prepared for their ultimate fate as breeders, milkers, or on the dinner plate.
Nick Zedd 1983
Barely qualifies to be on this list, but does deserve a mention for sheer weirdness if nothing else. Mad Dr. Frankenberry (without Count Chocula) creates a two-headed formaldehyde man (Homo Superior) to save his ugly daughter from a bunch of vampires. Hunchback servant Geeko chews on rubber body parts for added shock affect before the monster rearranges his face (literally). The sets are all drawn on paper (including the telephones) and the make-up and masks defy description. If you think "Plan 9 from Outer Space" or "Robot Monster" are the worst films ever made, you obviously haven't seen this one.
Richard Sale, Russ-Field
Productions 1955
What? A Cannibal Movie called "Gentlemen Marry Brunettes"? Well, sort of. Jane Russell and Jeanne Craine are a couple of show girls who go to Europe to follow in their mothers footsteps. After a lot of really small and disappointing "gigs", they get their big chance. They do a musical number in which they are captured by a tribe of cannibals and cooked in a big pot while singing "Ain't Misbehavin." One of the cannibals, wearing a white chef's hat, puts a sign next to the pot that reads "Menu: Chicks". They're saved by Alan Young (Wilbur of Mr. Ed) who is dressed in a gorilla suit. The choreography for this cannibal musical was done by Jack Cole. This was the sequel to Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and based on the book by Anita Loos. While "blondes" followed the book fairly well, this one does not. Also starring Rudy Vallee and Gwen Verdon. Real cute, but rather dumb.
An independent camcorder production shot in an apartment in Hollywood in 1986. An experienced American cannibal instructs a British initiate cannibal in the art of feminine cuisine, using a drunk and drugged hooker as their subject and eventual entree. They strip her down and examine her intimate parts while the American cannibal describes cooking and butchering techniques. They spend a very long time "washing" her while the American drolls on and on. Finally carrying her into a bathroom for butchering, they notice a "spot" and take her back to the table for even more washing. Eventually they off her in the bathtub and then play with her (plastic) organs. The dining scene which follows is even more boring the rest. A mildly interesting curiosity.
Rue Morgue/Club Dead 2005
Sometime titles get reused. Nearly 20 years after the last independent cheapie with this same title comes this new independent cheapie from death fetish video makers Club Dead. Victoria stars as the main course, and she is indeed "good enough to eat." The video starts with luscious Victoria already dead and hanging in the shed while the butcher sizes her up for dinner. Also stars Dolcett Girls founder and self-proclaimed Mayor of the town of Dolcett California and Holy Prophet of the Church of Dolcett Perro Loco as one of the diners. Victoria is spitted, roasted and served for a Fourth of July Barbecue.
aka, Karzin In Cuba, Drums of Cupid
Manuel Conde 1962
Tnere seem to be two versions of this movie. Clearly they are the same movie, but "Girls On The Rocks" and "Karzin in Cuba" contain different scenes. "Girls on the Rocks" is the longer movie. Matbe it's the directors cut, I don't know. An all girl orchestra is shipwrecked on an island dressed in bikinis, nighties and sexy lingerie. Thier sexually repressed chaperone orgaznizes the girls to build a hut, but when they discover Karzin she beats him away with her umbrella and puts up a "No Tresspassing" sign. When a tribe of cannibals attacks and destroys their hut they scream for Karzin to save them, but he just points to the No Tresspassing sign and won't help.
Anders Thomas Jensen, M&M Productions 2003
A Dutch film about a young man lacking any real emotion or conscience (Asperger's Syndrome?) who works at a butcher shop as an assistant along with another assistant who is probably insane (or at least stupid) and sweats a lot. The two quit to open their own butcher shop but find business very slow. When "Sweat Svend" accidentally kills a meat supplier by locking him in the freezer, he dismembers the body and sells the meat in the butcher shop. Strangely, business picks up and the shop becomes very popular. Svend is sure that the meat is the reason, and so he needs to figure out how to resupply his stock. Meanwhile, the protagonist falls in love with the adopted daughter of the only person in town who has ever tasted human flesh. A very strange yet entertaining film.
James Whale, Famous Productions
1940
Vincent Price and Joan Bennett head an impressive cast in a jungle adventure/horror film that Price later found hysterical. Cannibals lurk in the jungle and kill Vincent Price with poisoned arrows. His wife (Joan Bennett) shows up and falls in love with almost everybody in the rest of the cast. The cannibals never actually catch anybody, but kill several (mostly native extras). Available (but hard to find) on videotape and rarely (if ever) shown on TV.
Eli Roth, Open Road Films 2013
Justine, college freshman and daughter of a United Nations diplomat, follows a social-activist group to the Amazon to raise awareness of a petro-chemical company that is displacing natives in the rainforest. When their plane crashes the group is captured by the tribe that promptly slaughters and eats on of the group and imprisons the rest in a cage. When the tribe discovers that Justine is a virgin, she is prepared for a special sacrifice. They manage to escape by stuffing the body of one of the girls with marijuana to get the tribe high when they eat her. Justine then discovers that the intentions of the activist leader were not quite so noble as she had originally thought. An attempt to recreated the Italian cannibal films of the 1970s, this does a fairly good job.
aka Anthropophagous
Joe D'Amato, Filmirage 1980
A crazy ghoul named Klaus with a really bad latex complexion kills and eats everyone on an Aegean Island. Seems he went crazy after killing and eating his wife and son after being shipwrecked. Tisa Farrow and her tourist companions don't know what's going on. Neither does the audience. Film is a terrible thing to waste. I hear that the sequel, Anthropophagous II, is quite a bit better. I suppose it would have to be.
aka Rothenberg, Butterfly: A Grimm Love Story
Martin Weisz, Senator Entertainment Company 2006
Keri Russell (Felicity) stars in this film that is based on the Armin Miewes incident in Germany and the "internet cannibal movement" that the incident revealed to the public. Keri plays an American student in Germany researching a cannibal killer for her graduate thesis. The story of Miewes is told through flashback segments revealed as Keri researches her subject. As she probes deeper and deeper into the motivations of the characters she even goes to the town of Rothenberg and the house where the killer lived, breaking a window to gain access and see whaere the events had taken place. Eventually she goes on-line to the "Cannibal Cantina" website where she chats with the dark world of the "internet cannibal moviement" and asks if anyone has a copy of the video shot during the act. She receives an IM from a nameless character telling her he has a copy and will send it to her. The climax shows Keri watching the video of the murder-suicide and the act of cannibalism. As in the Marion Dora film based on the same incident, the movie includes gay sex and gay sexual references. Keri Russell's character seems almost unnecessary, as she is simply the vehicle for the story to be told and then finally to react to the end result with horror and revulsion. The movie has been relelased in Europe under different titles but has never been released in the United States. It can be obtained on PAL DVD on a Region 0 disk, allowing it to be played in some US DVD players.
aka The New Adventures of Snow White
Rolf Thiele, Caro Film GmbH 1969
An early 1970's German "roughie" porno feature based on well known ancient fairy tales. Snow White and Sleeping Beauty get adult treatments that much more closely match the original forms of the stories such as Cinderella's evil step sisters cutting off their own toes to make the slipper fit. At the beginning of the Cinderella episode, the heroine is rescued from becoming the main course in a cannibal chop shop. These fairly tales are definitely not for the kiddies.
Don Jackson, Blade Brother Productions 1997
From the man responsible for HELL COMES TO FROGTOWN and the ROLLER BLADE movies comes this tale of alien criminals and bounty hunters from outer space. Julie Strain is Queen B of Outer Space (in a brief apperance and softcore sex scene with husband Kevin Eastman) who sends Space Sherrif Scott Shaw on a mission to Earth to stop an invasion of Chupacabra aliens, led by evil space criminal Robert Z'dar. The Chupacabra apparently like to munch on naked earth girls, but never actually do, although some get manaced in a cage by the man in the Chupacabra suit until Shaw shows up to rescue them without any resistance. Rambles incoherently from scene to scene and then just ends. I predict that the two promised sequels will never get made.