The Encyclopedia of Cannibal Movies

C

 

CAN HIERONYMUS MERKIN EVER FORGET MERCY HUMPPE AND FIND TRUE HAPPINESS?

A 1960's psychedelic romantic comedy starring Anthony Newly as Hieronymus Merkin. No cannibals or cannibalism per se, but in one scene Milton Berle (as the Devil) literally "cooks up" a beautiful nude woman to provide temptation for Newly.

 

CANNIBAL

Daniel Roby, Joel Champetier, Lightning Entertainment 2004

Based on the novel White Skin by Joel Champetier (who also wrote the screenplay), this Canadian film won the international film award at the Toronto Film Festival. Terry is a literature student in Montreal with a phobia for redheads. That is until he meets Claire, a redheaded music student with pale white skin. Terry falls hard for Claire, but Claire has cancer and her family - all redheaded women - do not want her to be treated in the hospital. Claire and her family have some serious secrets, and may have something to do with a cannibalistic hooker that is after Terry's best friend who believes that Claire and the hooker are succubi. Does Claire need to eat men to survive her cancer? An excellently made film that mixes sex and suspence with some very weird anthropoligical theories. There is little nudity in the film which is too bad given the beautiful cast.

 

CANNIBAL

Marian Dora, Unearthed Films 2005 (Germany)

One of two films based on the Armin Miewes incident, this one is the closest to what actually happened. In the opening scene, a young boy is fascinated while his grandmother reads the story of Hansel and Gretel to him. Flashing forward to adulthood we see him reading books about cannibalism and eventually typing his ads on the internet. He meets many men who reject him until he finds one that wants what he wants. The film has little dialog but there is a lot of blood, guts and gay sex. The film goes up to the point of the Miewes character finishing off the Brandes character's remains and burying them on his property. His discovery, arrest and trial is not dealt with at all in the film.

 

CANNIBAL APOCALYPSE

aka Night of the Zombies

One of the few films to combine the "chunk blower" sub-genre with the zombie/ghoul sub-genre. A chemical plant in New Guinea turns the workers there into cannibal zombies who terrorize the countryside. In order to find out what's going on, a government swat team, together with a news crew must travel through cannibal territory in the interior. The zombie cannibals are more fearsome in the end than the native cannibals. Italian, of course.

 

Scrumptious Linda O'Neil is the Sexy Captive of Fijian cannibals in Cannibal Appetite

 

CANNIBAL APPETITE

Sexy Captive

Infinity Studios/Mystique Magazine

A brief video that appears in the bonus material section of a DVD titled, "Passport Required: FIJI" presented by Mystique Magazine. The video runs only 1 minute and 45 seconds. In it, model Linda O'Neil is seen being dragged into a native village by two war painted Fijian cannibals, armed with frightening looking Fijian war clubs, and tied to a post beside a roaring cook fire. The two cannibals then proceed to argue with each other over what to do with her. One of them clearly wants to cook her over the fire and eat her. The other apparently disagrees, although it is not clear what his plans for her are (but I think I can make a pretty good guess). Linda looks appropriately frightened and struggles with her bonds while the cannibals argue and posture. Then the video just abruptly ends and nothing happens. While on the rest of the DVD the models are mostly nude or partially nude, in this one Linda wears a long, housecoat like safari dress and knee-high boots. The dress is open to reveal a little bit of lingerie beneath, but otherwise there is no nudity. Another excellent opportunity for a spectacular cannibal fantasy video is lost. I have to wonder if adult fantasy publications like Mystique and Playboy are even aware that a cannibal fantasy/fetish market even exists. If they are, it does not seem to particularly interest them. The video is well worth seeing in any case, both for this as well as for the other much tamer fantasy segments featuring beautiful women in exotic locations. Caution should be exercized when dealing with Mystique, however, as once they get your credit card number they have a tendency to charge all kinds of other things that you never purchasedand their customer service is pretty much non-existent. While you always get the materials you think you bought, the other charges never seem to turn into any other merchandise.

A more recent, longer (and in color) version of this exists at the new Mystique website under the title "Sexy Captive." Unlike the original, where Linda remains dressed through the entire video, in Sexy Captive Linda is stripped deliciously naked to the gaze of her cannibal captors. But other than that, nothing really happens in the new version, either. Mystique, however, appears to be making a concerted effort to clean up their act. Each fantasy package continas videos and photos and is available for only $5.95. Memberships and repeating charges are not required. Not a bad deal at all.

 

CANNIBAL ATTACK

Lee Sholem

One of the "Jungle Jim" series of films starring Johnny Wiesmuller, this was the first one in which the comic book character name was replaced by Weismuller's own. This one is about a tribe (or gang) of bad guys who wear crocodile suits. I hear that the film is conspicuously devoid of any cannibals.

 

CANNIBAL BARBECUE

Gary Miller, WAVE/IDS

A shot-on-video short made by In Dire Straights (I.D.S.) productions for Gary Miller. I.D.S. (and their sister company WAVE Productions) make custom videos for would-be writers and producers on a bare minimum budget, which usually shows. In this one, a young girl stops her car to ask directions from a couple of hillbillies who just ran out of livestock. They carry her off and barbecue her on a grill. Both IDS and WAVE refuse to do nudity in their videos, so the girl is cooked and eaten with her clothes on.

 

CANNIBAL CAMPOUT

Made for video, shot on videotape, this one has the production quality of any recent porno tape. The props and special gore affects appear to be directly from mail order out of "Fangoria" or any other movie gore magazine of it's ilk. It has more plot than "Lunch Meat" but less quality of production. Essentially, it's about a group of guys who live out in the woods of somewhere and, like their counterparts in "Texas Chainsaw Massacre", "The Hills Have Eyes", "Mother's Day" and, yes, "Lunch Meat", butcher and eat campers who wander into their domain. Goes further than the others by actually wasting an UNBORN baby. Some scenes are OK, but if you must see it, hold your nose while watching.

 

CANNIBAL COVE

Vidimax

A quite insipid attempt at horror/comedy from the Vidimax "underground society." Pushes the limits of not only good taste but possibly even legality as well, because although it contains no real "X" or "R" rated scenes it does feature a 14 or 15 year old girl being cooked in a pot by a witch in one scene and in bondage in another. Also, it uses popular songs and television show themes in it's soundtrack which they probably didn't have permission for. This may account for why they are no longer in business. The story is about a 50's TV show type jewish family whose daughter is on her way to her first holy communion (yeah, you read it right!). While heading out for the weekend they pick up a crazy old witch lady and breakdown somewhere out in the country where a bunch of cannibalistic evil spirits are having their eve of Lammas festival. Little Kathy appears to be their choice for the holiday dinner. Featuring a cast of mostly high school aged kids telling stupid jokes and references to television shows and commercials, this hardly seems worth the time required to fast forward through it.

 

CANNIBAL DINER

Sal Longo, ZC

In another short from IDS, Pamela Sutch drops in for a quick bite at an obscure roadside diner called Zulu Charlie's. Picking up a menu she finds that it contains nothing but a mirror. Suddenly she finds herself stripped down to her bra and panties, tied down to a barbecue grill and being salted and spiced by a couple or really weird people. She pleads for her life while the BBQ grill is turned on and she is grilled to a nice golden brown, after which she is covered with vanilla pudding (while still in her bra and panties) as a prelude to getting munched. Sounds silly, I know, but for IDS this is actually not too bad.

 

CANNIBAL DOCTOR

Bill Hellfire, IDS Productions

Another cannibal direct-to-video from WAVE productions, with Tina Krause (a luscious little morsel to be sure) and newcomer Misty Mundae. Tina plays the cannibal wife of the doctor who uses his practice to size up prospective meals for his wife. Misty plays one of the meals. I have not seen it, so I cannot comment beyond this. This was remade later as Dinner For Two with extended scenes and an Aimez-vous les Femmes? inspired twins subplot that allows Misty to be cooked twice in the same video.

 

CANNIBAL FEROX

aka Make Them Die Slowly

Umberto Lenzi

Another Italian "Cannibal Chunk Blower" from Umberto Lenzi. An anthropology student goes to the jungles of South America to disprove the "Myth of the Cannibal Ferox." There, she encounters some nasty cannibal natives who do nasty things to her and her companions. The real bad guys, however, are not the jungle heathens. A very gory and disturbing film featuring actual animal mutilations and a guy who has his member cut off and eaten.

 

CANNIBAL GIRLS

Ivan Reitman

In one brief scene in "Ghostbusters II" the camera pans by a movie theater marquee, on which is displayed the movie title, "Cannibal Girls." This was one of Ivan Reitman's first films and starred Andrea Martin and Eugene Levy (no, it's really not Gene Shalit, it's Eugene Levy) who later became regulars on SCTV. They're a married couple who stop at an old inn run by the girls of the title who "... do exactly what you think they do." In the original movie there was a warning bell which sounded before the scary scenes so that the audience could close their eyes if they wanted to. Well there aren't many scary scenes, but there are quite a few funny ones.

 

CANNIBAL HILLBILLIES

In Dire Straights Productions (WAVE/IDS) 2003

Laura Giglio and Dean Paul are a couple of (brother and sister) hillbillies who catch city girl Debbie D out in the woods and decide to have her for dinner. They catch her, she gets away, they hunt her and catch her again, etc. Finally she gets cooked on the infamous WAVE bedspring grill. The video describes the content as "externded carrying." Extended is right. Laura looks more appetizing. Fortunately, we get to see her cooked (by Debbie D) in Cannibal Sacrifice.

 

German poster for "Cannibal Holocaust"

 

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST

Ruggero Deodato

This is the only film I have seen which makes me understand why some films are banned. If there were an award given to films for sickness and violence, this one would have to be an all time winner. I doubt that an actual snuff film could be any more horrible, or that this film itself could have been more horrible had the scenes of violence and mutilation been actually real. An expedition into the jungles of the Amazon find the remains of a film crew together with the footage of their documentary on two warring cannibal tribes. The film reveals the atrocities performed by the film crew on the natives, and the carnality of the revenge taken by the cannibals. In what may be the films most unsettling scene, the crews only female member is stripped, raped and eaten alive as her cameraman boyfriend films her death. Also includes the infamous scene of a native girl impaled on a stake. Each scene is nauseatingly realistic. This film is mercifully hard to find.

 

CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST: THE BEGINNING

aka: Cannibal Holocaust 2

Vincent Dawn, Bruno Mattei, La Perla Nera 2003

A collaboration between Italian and Hong Kong filmmakers and shot entirely in the Phillipines, this is essentially a remake of Ruggero Deodato's landmark Cannibal Holocaust. This is about a reality television show called Fact To Face that travels to remote parts of the world to film the lives of savage and primitive civilizations and to show their real, daily lives. Threatened with cancellation, they go to the Amazon looking for real cannibals. Like the original, they fake the scenes using real natives and shooting actual death and dismemberment, and eventually find a tribe of real cannibals who don't take kindly to the film crew. Many of the milestone scenes from the original are reproduced, including the crocodile "abortion" scene and the murder and impalement of a native girl. Unlike the original, the scenes of cannibalism are extended and on-screen with both men and women, natives and westerners being butchered and eaten raw. Can you top a classic? Clearly this film tries to do just that. Supposedly this film is the second of a trilogy. My suspicion is that Land Of Death is one of the other films in the trilogy, meaning the possibility of a third new Itialian style cannibal horror film out there somewhere.

 

CANNIBAL HOOKERS

Donald Farmer

Will cheap, plotless horror films replace cheap, plotless porn films in the post Reagan nineties? Will they be any better than porn films? If this film is any indication the answers to these questions are, respectively, yes and no. Former Gorgeous Ladies Of Wrestling grappler Sheila Best (Tara the Southern Belle to G.L.O.W. fans) is featured in this direct to video cheap substitute for a cheap porn film about UCLA sorority pledges who get mixed up with a brothel full of cannibalistic hookers. Although it does feature some nice looking ladies and a small amount of nudity, the production quality and FX are so poor that it actually makes "Cannibal Campout" look good by comparison. Donald Farmer (the Mondo Video Donald Farmer) is the man responsible.

 

CANNIBAL ISLAND

A documentary that looks more like somebody's home movies of their summer vacation. Scenes of natives with bones through their noses and meat cooking on fires accompanied by lots of inane narration. The cover for the videocassette box shows a Conan like He-Man with a spear defending a topless girl from the war painted cannibals. Too bad nothing like that happens on the tape.

 

CANNIBAL MAN

aka Apartment on the 13th Floor

Eloy de la Iglesia

Those interested in cinematic cannibalism will find this movie disappointing as the practice is not even mentioned in the film itself, despite the title. For those who like atmospheric and bloody murder melodramas, this is sure to satisfy. A slaughterhouse employee kills friends and family, leaving the bodies stashed in his apartment. When the corpses start to get rank and draw flies, he attempts to dispose of the bodies using the meat-grinder at the slaughterhouse. There's also a surprise ending sure to annoy gay and lesbian activists. All this a full twenty years before Jeffrey Dahmer!

 

CANNIBAL SACRIFICE

In Dire Straights Productions (WAVE/IDS) 2004

Laura Giglio takes money to change the priority list of organ transplants. This causes the death of Debbie D's sister. Too bad for Laura that Debbie is a cannibal who takes tasty revenge on Laura and uses her organs for her own purpose. Laura is stripped to her underwear, bound tenderized, oiled and spiced and cooked on the WAVE bedspring grill. While ten years older and a bit chunkier than she was in Cannibal Supper, Laura still looks appetizing with sauce and garnish. One of WAVES better no-budget efforts, which I realize is not saying a whole lot.

 

CANNIBAL SUPPER

Sal Longo

Another shot-on-video short from IDS Productions, this one stars Laura Giglio as a girl who enters a lottery in which she is given riches and luxurious living until her number comes up, when she must report to a special diner's club where she will be prepared as the evenings main course. First she gets heated up in a soup pot (with cabbage leaves taped over her breasts) and then barbecued (sporting a tin-foil bikini) on the infamous IDS grill. While this is above average for an IDS video, you still shouldn't expect much.

 

CANNIBAL TABOO

Mike Tristano 2006

From the maker of FEAST comes this new cannibal occult tale of terror. Ashlie Rhey stars as a woman who transforms into a sexy cannibal. Forest rituals, jungle explorers and African tribal cannibals all get involved as Miss Rhey eats her way through the rest of the cast. Released in 14 countries in 2006 - not including the United States. No date for a US release.

 

CANNIBAL TERROR

aka Terreur Cannibale

Julio Tabernero

Long rumored to be a lost Jess Franco film, it is in fact not by Franco, but is very similar in style. In fact, some of the scenes from this were used in Jess Franco's "White Cannibal Queen." A band of small time crooks, three men and one woman, kidnap the young daughter of a wealthy businessman to hold for ransom. To hide out they meet another woman with a jeep who takes them into a jungle to hide out with some other crooks. The route they take takes them "right by cannibal country." What a tribe of cannibals, or even a jungle for that matter, is doing in France is never explained, but the jeep breaks down and the cannibals get them. It just gets weirder from there. Good for a laugh but little else (some scenes are pretty gory) this can be found on videotape in English, but is pretty rare.

 

CANNIBAL: THE MUSICAL

Trey Parker and Matt Stone

Troma

Yep, a real musical. Based on the story and legend of Alferd Packer, the Colorado frontier cannibal, this highly entertaining (if twisted) musical comedy was made by irreverent comedy team behind the animated "South Park" series. You would have thought these guys would have had more girls in their movie, though.

 

CANNIBAL: WE LOVE MEAT

Nexxxt Generation (Netherlands) 2005

A Dutch full-length horror porn that is more porn than it is horror. Two guys capture a girl in a jungle and take her to a bunker. Apparently there is a war going on but who the girl is or why they have her is never revealed. One guy rapes the girl but soon she is willingly participating. When a bomb goes off and traps the two guys in the bunker, they eat the girl to stay alive until they are rescued. Later, one of the guys is tortured by his experience and goes to see a shrink while the other becomes a porn star and decides to make a porn movie about cannibalism. The only things that ever get eaten in this movie are dicks and pussies. Cannibalism is only ever talked about and nothing is shown on screen except for a little very fake looking gore. Horror porn, or just horrible porn?

 

CANNIBAL WOMEN IN THE AVOCADO JUNGLE OF DEATH

The Avocado Jungle, that great expanse of jungle in southeastern California stretching from San Bernardino to the Mexican border (more popularly known as the Mojave Desert) is inhabited by the Piranha Women, a dangerous tribe of Feminist Cannibals who like their men served with guacamole. Feminist university professor Shannon Tweed, together with a sorority girl who fantasies about being tied up with red licorice and spanked, are sent by the military into the avocado jungle to convince Piranha women leader Adrienne Barbeau to relocate the tribe to a condo complex in Malibu. This silly, sexy comedy uses cannibalism as a vehicle to lampoon male and female societal roles but don't worry, the comedy never gets far above the "Three Stooges" level.

 

CANNIBALISM: THE LAST SUPPER

Lizzie Borden, Extreme Associates

A uncommon horror porn from Extreme Associates, who also brought you "Tales From the Clit 2" (also featuring a cannibal segment). This video is the most overtly cannibalistic "adult" movie made to date. Still, there is little on screen cannibalism. Most is implied by dialog ("lets gut these two bastards") or by fake blood and dismembered body parts. The sex is mostly rapes, and in one extended scene two of the cannibals bite into a woman's torso and rip her guts out with their teeth. There is a lot of hailing satan, as this is supposedly about a devil worshipping cult. Definitely not the sort of porn you see everyday. The Justice Department under the Bush (W) Administration has taken a dim view of Extreme Associates' fusion of porn and horror genres and has used them to pursue their campaign against First Amendment freedoms. So far they have been unsuccessful but I don't see them giving up easily.

 

CANNIBALLISTIC

Dead Alive

Will is a strict vegeatarian, but he wasn't always so. It seems will had a traumatic experience in his past in which he was stranded in a wrecked car, and forced to eat his travelling companion. Will developed a craving for meat, but the right kind was just do hard to come by. He found solace in vegetarianism and a move to the country, but Will's new neighbors keep trying to get him to eat meat! Eventually, he gives in... and the carnage begins.

 

Another Italian cannibal flick?

 

CANNIBALO BRUTALO

aka Brutes and Savages, The Last Man on Earth

A Mondo Documentary about the world's last primitive societies. Done mostly for exploitation

 

THE CANNIBALS

A Chinese martial arts movie from Hong Kong, this movie has absolutely nothing to do with cannibals or cannibalism at all, despite it's title. In fact, the significance of the title is a complete mystery, except perhaps to the Chinese. Actually, it's about a trio of thieves who steal a bunch of money and then go into hiding and take jobs. They are sought by a Kung Fu master who's brother was killed in the robbery. A cute little chinese kung fu vixen, a dragon lady with bad teeth and a gambling house all get into the story along the way, but no cannibals.

 

CANNIBALS OF THE SOUTH SEAS

Martin and Osa Johnson

One of Martin and Osa Johnson's earlier documentaries on their hunt for cannibals and headhunters in New Guinea and the islands of the South Pacific. In this 1912 silent documentary, they staged phoney scenes and edited others to make a more lurid documentary for public consumption.

 

CANNING THE CANNIBAL KING

William Beaudine

1917 Silent comedy short starring Zasu Pitts. No doubt another silent lost to time and nitrate film stock.

 

CANIZONS

Club Dead

For the amatuer/custom videomakers at Club Dead comes this twelve minute MPEG video short that could also be titled, "trespassers will be eaten." Juliette stars as a young jungle woman on her way home to her peaceful tribe, but stumbles onto the territory of the Cannibal Amazon women, the Canizons! Juliette is no match for Canizon warrior Maria Shadoes, and is taken prisoner. Soon she is hung upside down, stripped naked and bled out before being roasted on the spit pole. Juliette looks sexy naked and quite appetizing on the roasting spit. Amateurish, yes. Bad acting, Yes. But where else are you going to find this sort of thing? CANIZONS II and III are promised.

 

CARRIE'S HOME VIDEOS, VOLUME I

aka A Day at the Beach

"Carrie"

Carrie (C.A.R. of Belmont, Michigan) treats us to two full hours of live-action video in her "adventures of an amateur scream queen" series. This tape consists of numerous short vignettes which are all basically the same. Carrie is on the beach when she is approached by an unseen menacer (in a clever "you-are-the-killer" perspective) who kills her and leaves her body on the beach or in the water. The costumes (what little there are) and the method of death change each time, but the basic concept is the same. Except, that is, in the last and longest one. Carrie is sunning herself nude on the beach when she is approached by a friendly stranger who wants to take her measurements. Once seeing that she, literally, "measures up," he clonks her over the head, loads her unconscious (and deliciously naked) body into his truck and takes her home. Once there, he roasts her and serves her with an apple in her mouth and a sprig of parsley in her navel. A copy of "A Cookbook for Cannibals" by Chef Sal Monella sits nearby. At least he had the right instructor!

 

 

CARRY ON UP THE JUNGLE

This is one of the films of the popular British "Carry On" series which included such films as "Carry On Nurse," "Carry On Cleo," "Carry On Screaming," "Carry On Cowboy" and "Carry On Emmanuelle." This one has the usual crew in a jungle movie spoof. An expedition into the African jungle for various reasons, including a search for the lost son of one of the people on safari, gets captured by the cannibal Nosha tribe. The jungle boy, now a grown man, manages to save the young girl from the pot. The rest are rescued by a tribe of Amazons called the "Lubby-Dubbies." Lots of silliness and double entendres.

 

CASTAWAYS ON JUNGLE JANE'S ISLAND

Aqua Entertainment/Mark II Productions

A Wet-n-Messy Fetish video with some cheap but amusing special effects. Three women are on a cruise when their ships engine explodes and the boat sinks. Washed ashore on the island of Pantihosia, they eventually captured by the Ooga-Boogas, a tribe of female lesbian cannibals who plan to have them for dessert. They are tied up to a tree and poked and prodded by the cannibals before being gooped up with cream pies. Yum-yum! But soon it's Jungle Jane to the rescue as she takes on the Ooga-Booga Cannibal Queen in a one-on-one rumble in the jungle! Gratuitous up-skirt, pantyhose, splosh, mud and female wrestling fetishes abound.

 

CAVEGIRL

A silly T&A comedy about a high school nerd who wanders through a time-warp on a field trip, and ends up in a "Clan of the Cave Bear" remake. He soon discovers he's a lot better off there, because while the girls back at school don't want anything to do with him, the beautiful, blonde cave-babe who has been ostracized by her own tribe has taken quite a shine to him. Besides, he's read "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court", so when a tribe of cannibals carries his sweetie off for an impromptu barbecue he knows exactly what to do. Not much original stuff here, but can make for a fun hour and a half or so if you've got nothing better to do.

 

CHECKMATE TO THE QUEEN

aka Scacco alla Regina

Pasquale Festa Campanile, 1969 (Italy)

I have heard rumors of a film by this name. It sounds vaguely similar in plot to John Waters "Desperate Living", which has a scene in which a fat, ugly queen is roasted and eaten by her subjects. In this one, however, I hear that it is the queen who is the cannibal and she eats pretty young girls. I know nothing else about it, and in fact nothing I've said here may be actually true. The film's soundtrack, done by Piero Piccione and sung by Edda Dell'Orso is much more celebrated than the film itself and can still be obtained today. An Italian porn has recently been released under the same (Italian) title, but probably has nothing to do with the original film.

 

CHELSEA AS THE MAIN COURSE

Necro Videos

Amateur/Indie porn vid from Necro Video, which does custom fetish videos for the home video raincoat market. Few of these venture into cannibalism subjects, but Necro released two back to back. In this one, one of their usual models Chelsea is delivered to the door of her cannibal purchaser, in a scene very remiscent of an old Dolcett drawing. Once delivered, Chelsea is prepared for cooking while trying to convince her cannibal owner to keep her as a sex slave instead. A lot of preparation, some decent tasting, even actual fucking. But after a good stuffing, Chelsea goes into the oven anyway and is served all nice and golden brown. A Dolcett comic come to life, more or less. Too bad her sister, Alex, didn't play this part.

 

C.H.U.D.

The title stands for "Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers" or "Contamination Hazard Urban Disposal", depending on which part of the movie you're watching. Radioactive toxic waste dumped into the New York sewer system turns indigents living there into cannibalistic monsters. All of that makes this a typical "Seen one, seen 'em all" 80's horror flick.

 

C.H.U.D. II: BUD THE CHUD

Robert Vaughn (Napoleon Solo from "The Man from U.N.C.L.E.") has made some really terrible movies lately, and this name only sequel to "C.H.U.D." is no exception. In this one the "CHUD"s are "Night of the Living Dead" style zombies rather than toxic-waste mutants, and it's played more for laughs than for scares. It fails on both counts. "Bud" actually falls in love with the heroine, who puts on a sexy bathing suit to entice all of the other CHUDs into a trap where they can be frozen in a swimming pool.

 

CONAN THE BARBARIAN

Arnold Schwartzenegger stars as Robert E. Howard's famed pulp hero with James Earl Jones as his nemesis Thulsa Doom. Conan is hired to rescue a princess from the cult of Set, which the evil Thulsa Doom is using to enslave thousands of people. Invading Doom's lair through the kitchen, the fate of many members of the cult are seen as both male and female body parts are being butchered and cooked in a giant stewpot, which is then taken into the palace and served to Doom and his minions. In the sequel, Conan rescues the wizard from a tribe of cannibals who want to eat him to get his magical powers. Olivia d'Abo wold have been a much better choice, magical powers be damned.

 

CONSUMING PASSIONS

Michael Palin and Terry Jones of "Monty Python" are the originators of this British black comedy about a failing English chocolate company who's sales skyrocket after some workmen accidentally fall into the chocolate vat. The company executives then assign Britain's answer to Gilligan to "Head of Special Projects" ... obtaining the new secret ingredient. Unlike the Italians, British cannibalism is subtle and implied, rather than brutally graphic.

 

THE COOK

Gregg Simon 2008

Half a sorority's members go away for spring break, the other half stay behind. The half that stays hires a new chef. Half of the girls are lesbians for no particular reason other than lesbians are apparently cool and cool girls are supposed to be lesbians. of the only girls that are not lesbians, one has the hots for the Chef and the other spends the movie working out in skimpy workout suits and dissing her horny dork tutor. The new chef is from Hungary and doesn't speak english, so he tells the girls (in Hungarian) that he is going to kill them all. Not only does he kill them, he cooks them and serves them to the other girls. This movie is pretty much just an excuse to exploit lesbians and typical slasher flick gore. There is a little nudity, although you would kind of expect more in a slasher flick about hot lesbian sorority girls. In other words, the whole thing is kind of pointless and nothing you haven't seen before.

 

THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE, AND HER LOVER

An interesting and entertaining surrealist morality play with a twist, and a twisted one at that!

 

CREATURES OF THE JUNGLE

Video Search of Miami (the only place where I think you can get this) bills it as "cannibals in the Mexican jungles." Don't believe it. It's just an old sixties boring adventure movie which could have been made in the forties. In color, but all the cyan is gone from the print. If you want to see a sexy aztec/mayan human sacrifice movie, you'll be much better off with "Sacrifice of the White Goddess."

 

CURSE OF THE CANNIBAL CONFEDERATES

Troma

The south shall rise again! And when they do they'll be hungry for some yankee cookin'. This bit of disappointing schlock from TROMA is about a platoon of Confederate soldiers from the Civil War who return as zombies to take revenge against yankee college students. The un-original plot like it could be described as "Night of the Living Dead meets Two Thousand Maniacs," except that it is no where bear the quality of either of those movies. It is, after all, a Troma movie.

 

CURSE OF THE SWAMP CREATURE

Sal Longo

A rare feature length video from IDS Productions, this is about a deformed Jason Voorhees type of creep who lives out in the woods and eats girls that he catches. The girls are cooked on a grill with their clothes on, sometimes with even more clothes than they were wearing when they were caught. Bad camera angles, bad timing and atrocious acting make this an even worse than usual IDS effort. Curse of the Swamp Creature II is the sequel and more of the same.