My Fantasy Cannibal Movies

If I could make my own cannibal movie, and had a budget to do it (not like the 2-days and $2000 I had for Jungle Drums), what movie would I make? Here are brief descriptions of the movies I would choose from:

These story treatments copyright (c) 2005


Aimez-Vous les Femmes? remake

Really more homage than remake, as the plot of this is really based on the original film than being a remake of it. I actually had a fairly extensive treatment of this written at one time. Many of the characters from the original remain. The characters of Fenouic, Violette, Kourolis, Larson and the Cook, as well as the locations of the Nir-Va and the Golden Parrot remain, although their names and roles in the film are changed a bit. The cannibalism subplot is played up while the gangster angle is played down. The twins Violette and Margherite are not used, but a similar twist (ala "The Boys From Brasil") is used in their place. It is very much a modernization of the original story.


Boiled Alive remake

A remake of the lost "roughie" porn. This could be done with a pretty low budget, so this is what I would do if I did not have the budget to make the others. I would really rather do the others on this list before I did this one. This is the only film on this list that would not be a comedy. It would be an attempt to redo the old "roughie" format, and this is a classic example of that form.


My Favorite Redhead

Bob Hope made My Favorite Blonde and My Favorite Brunette, but what about My Favorite Redhead? This movie corrects that omission, but since Bob Hope himself is no longer with us to make such a movie, this would be a cheap immitation. It would require an actor that can do a decent impression of Bob Hope and a glamorous, sexy redheaded actress who is willing to take her clothes off for art.What, you say there was no nudity in the other Hope films? Well, I did call it a "cheap immitation", didn't I? The plot of the movie will be a pure comic tribute to Bob Hope's old comedies and will take him back to the jungle ala Road To Zanzibar. Only this time it won't be Bob and Bing on the menu, it's going to be the leading lady. Bob will rescue her of course, but not too soon, and unlike all those old movies where nothing ever really happens, she will be going into the pot!



My concept for this one is very similar to the description I heard for the never made movie "Stewed" (see coming attractions). This would use the Chef Sal Monella character from A Cookbook For Cannibals as the main character. The tagline I had worked out for it is: Chef Sal has a love for fine food and beautiful women. Sometimes he just has a hard time telling the difference.


Truckstop Cannibal

This one was probably the best developed of the the bunch. There was even a partial script for it once, and it may even still exist somewhere. This is a straight 80s style horror thriller, no chaser. Well, maybe a bit of a chaser.


Adventure Island

This would be a lower budget fetish movie. I had actually discussed making this movie, based on Pete Bogg's Jungle Janet character, with Pete boggs himself. Cannibals, quicksand, carnivorous plants... I guess the dream just dies hard.


Betchya-Wanna My Navel

(Or, I Left My Bellybutton in Bechuanaland)

OK, I am still struggling with the title of this. This would be a fetish combo flick for both cannibal/gynopagia fetishists and belly fetishists. The inspiration comes from an anthropology book called CANNIBALISM from Sacrifice to Survival by Hans Askenasy. In chapter 11, The Gourmets, he talks about cannibals that were cannibals for the sake of gustatory pleasure, and discussed the favorite portions of various groups. One tribe, the Bechuana of Bechuanaland (now Botswana) in south Africa preferred the navel. What a concept! The actual pronunciation of Bechuana is very close to Bet-Chew-Wanna.